laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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