I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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