I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
