community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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