I just made out with a guy for $7.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
