oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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