in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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