erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
so much tequila, so little girl.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I deserve this hangover.
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