Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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