An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
