i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
