Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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