just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
When did angry sex become our thing?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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