so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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