all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
im having a threesome with these popsicles
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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