For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
