her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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