Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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