Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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