Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
