Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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