Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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