Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
