Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
