what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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