Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
