First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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