tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
