so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
