I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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