She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize