What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
