dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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