took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
