How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Randomize
