In the future we'll all be gay
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
