explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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