Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
