i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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