I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
