Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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