You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
