Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
