i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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