At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize