Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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