dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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