why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize