the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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