i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
