He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
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