do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
