I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
