i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
