At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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