It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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