I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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