I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
