4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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