I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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