Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
